Some Days ...

Some days it is a frustration ... Some days it makes me wonder if I will get a handle on this disease ... I know I will ~ because I know the knowledge of what I am facing helps on days like today where something (maybe gluten) has turned my system up side down and inside out and I just want to curl up in a ball and just rock back and forth.  The frustration comes from not being quite sure what set this reaction off ~ and not being able to truly explain to someone without this disease just how badly this has affected my body, my mind, my spirit today ... I just do not feel like myself - of course of late I am not sure anymore what "myself" is suppose to feel like.  I just do not feel good.

There is a small comfort in knowing - while I am working on getting this right - that I am not alone in this struggle ... that others have the constant roller coaster of health ... the up and down ... the getting thrown sideways, the fatigue and nausea.  The disappointments.  And I also love to read about how people are trying to get things right ... going for a more whole foods approach (which I have to be honest I haven't totally embraced yet) - looking to find a balance in what their bodies can or can not absorb - the trials and errors - there is so much information out there these days.  I am looking for ways to absorb and practice more of what I need to do to set my body on the right path.  To Wellness ~ to peace of mind ~ to uplifting of the spirit.

And to take days like today and yesterday - where I have upset my system by something - and this I did eating "safely(?)" at home ~ and find the energy and know how to control the depression at feeling like this ~ and find out what the culprit was.  It's frustrating when it is in your own home that you basically "poison" your system ... when we are out we can say "oh "someone" else wasn't careful enough" - when we are in our own home it often makes it sometime more difficult to pinpoint what exactly hurt us.

At times it is tiring to be in constant "spy" mode. :)  And I can see the benefit and wise advice in leaning towards more of a whole foods approach ... less ingredients ha ha.  As it is ... I know I have to go back and look at what we added to last nights supper - in the gravy mix perhaps? in the spice blend that we used to season the pork chops?  Brands that we have used before but just recently have bought new containers of?  Last night while dealing with the agony of cramps I was reading the side of the gravy mix ... well will have to go back and read it again - kind of blurred in my vision last night with all the ingredients.  Simple would be better ~ makes sense the less items you have to figure out the easier it is to do so, especially at a time where you are suffering from brain fog and doubled over with cramps.

Apply the "K.I.S.S" reasoning - Keep it Simple Silly (ha ha it is "Stupid" actually but I am feeling a touch on the weepy side today so don't want to set myself off ;)   So Silly it is.

I am thankful today that there is encouragement and hope out there ... that there are many that are having success in finding ways to "feel whole" ... and maybe a little cheered by the fact (though I honestly hate to see people suffer) that we all have our "some days" but that there is some really great days to look forward and strive towards as well!  :)

Cheers ~ now maybe some green tea to settle my stomach?